Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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