i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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