Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
