And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Randomize
