Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
dude. I can hear the air.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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