AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
