Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
