He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
