I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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