I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
