his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
