is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do vagina's smell?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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