i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
