he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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