let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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