is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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