David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
