How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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