Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
