At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize