i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
