Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
