What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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