i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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