I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
