then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
