So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
