I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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