Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
