I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
