He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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