The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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