piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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