it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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