I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The uberlube is also flammable
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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