Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
