So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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