Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize