No stitches, just platelets and will power
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
