Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
