Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
