$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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