I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
