I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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