It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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