I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
