If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
