I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
