she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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