Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
