; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
