We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
