"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
