the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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