Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
