i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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