ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
