Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize