Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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