So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize