Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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